Customers you hate!

I've worked in a desi restaurant for a while, and it was fun to work there. however, u get your share of some bad times too. Here's a bit of it.
The type of customers you hate:


1) Those who come in and behind them there is a whole trail of his relatives: wife(s?), children, friends, friend’s wife’s, friend’s children, uncles and aunts, uncle and aunts children, uncle and aunt’s relatives, uncle and aunt’s relatives’ children. In short, a bunch of all the generations possible at one time. They come in and actually ask for a place to sit. We’re thinking inside: you have out staffed us, how about YOU help US in making a place for u to sit? Or how about getting your own drinks? Coz oh man, 20 glasses on one tray, with children playing all around u.. totally lethal man. Lol. I do not want any blame on me for dropping those glasses full of drinks on the wretched children, just because they couldn’t stay in one place




2) The ones who come very doubtful of what they want to order. They ask for the menu at the counter and stand there for a reaaalllllyyyyyy loooonnggggg time contemplating on what would be the cheapest yet the most filling dish. Then their questioning session starts, “what comes in this combo?” (although everything is written in the menu) To make them feel bad, yet to be polite we say, “Well whatever it says on there...” then we list the stuff. HeHeHe. :D “Do we get drinks with that?” (No sir) “ Do you charge taxes on this?” (huh? R u from Canada?) “Can we substitute the fries with something else?” (when it says ‘no substitutes’ at the bottom). Then this guy would add up everything in his head (taking his own sweet time again) and even calculate the 15% tax (he would ask a calculator for that) and after experimenting with it for a while he would stand up from his ‘temporary office-table’ [come-on! U didn’t expect him to be standing up all this while, he was making a critical decision of what was going to go in his stomach that day!!] finally relieved that he’s made a decision on what to eat. I think if u look closely u can see a bead of sweat on his forehead. I don t know man.. maybe his wife only gave him 5 dollars and 67 cents exact to be spent on food that day. Who knows?!

3) It is really really loud and busy. All the tables are full of people. You are following the Freudian rule of least effort and most gain. You are totally stressed and SO NOT in a good mood. So this one annoying customer decides to become funny when u start taking their order. “Why is it called ‘papadum’? Why not ‘mamadum’? “ ( I don’t know dumb ass, maybe u should go ask your papa and mama?) “ The water that you have, is it pure water? Or tap water? (Pure water? Huh? U expect us to do filtration in our kitchen? Oh and by the way, you’re in Canada, the water u drain down your toilet is cleaner than what some people drink in other parts of the world). “If we don’t have money, are we supposed to go and wash the dishes?” (grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr)

4) It is dead silent and you have just finished cleaning up. Now this customer decides to come in just milliseconds before you are closing. He makes an innocent and kind of embarrassed smile and asks “r u closed?” (Oh man, No! PLEASE don’t order, we’ve just finished cleaning.) He makes an innocent plea of giving whateverrrrrrrr is there, coz its late at night and he cant find a decent restaurant open. So out of the goodness of your heart you give in and say ‘Okay so maybe we can manage a Biryani for you.’ He thanks you a thousand times and then asks “Do you think you can add in a kabab too?” We’re like.. ‘ummm okay’ Customer: “and while you’re at it u think u can throw in a Butter Chicken with Nan as well?” (Oh man! U better not add anything else, or I’m going to wring your neck) “Oh actually my wife is here too, can u make two biryanis pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee?” then the wife walks in and sits down on the table. (hmph!) When we’re almost done with the order, he turns around from the table and says, “oh we’re eating it here by the way” (damn man! Since when did u become the owner?) We look at him in disbelief ( You have GOT to be kidding me!!! Its freakin’ LATE!!!) He smiles a sheepish smile again and says “ we have no where to go actually, where r we gonna eat? And our house is really far” ( How about your car genius? The turtle-slow car in which u managed to come here so late!)