How About em Tails?! huh?

From grade 1 I've been studying that "humans are mammals without tails." We really gotta have tails. You know, tails actually show the true feelings we're feeling inside rather than our face. Lemme explain.....
Without tails, if we are actually sad and want to show that we're happy, we can just smile and act happy. Most people can be decieved like that. And some of us are really good actors when it comes to this type of thing. Vice versa, if you are actually happy and want to show that you are sad all you gotta do is to turn that smile upside down and people would believe you.
Now, WITH TAILS you cannot hide your feelings. If you're happy, your tails would be upright and swinging happily from one side to another and your face would be glowing. If you were sad they would droop down and drag along the floor. Imagine, walking in a mall and everyone has tails. Some are straight up and swaying while others are drooped down low and some others are just getting dragged. We would know exactly who is happy and who is sad and who is just normal, i guess. It would be great.
Plus there would be other advantages too, specially us students. We can be busily doing our term papers and if both our hands are busy grab ur glass of juice (or low fat chocolate milk) with ur tail and sip along. And they'll be useful if we wanna hang off of trees or something like that. What if we could accessorize them? We would have tail bracelets... and they would be called taillets! That would be so cool. Instead of checking out *something else* people would be checking out each other's tails and saying 'Yo, man check out her tail, its so smooth. It is groomed SO WELL' And I wonder if our greetings would change. On the phone would we be like ' So how's ur tail doing today?' lol...

The Pointless Hijab

It's time for me to make a parallel post to Tahira's post on hijabs.
I got this forward on hijabs long time ago in my mail as a forward from one of my friends. For some reason it was very funny to me when I read it at that time. However, it didnt tickle me much when I read it now. In any case, READ ON:
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The Pointless Hijab


It has been my personal observation that some Muslim girls and women do not realize the significance of hijab. Hijab is arabic for protection and cover. Some people put a lot effort into their hijab, yet it serves no purpose. I am referring to the pointless hijab that some girls wear.

1 - The first pointless hijab is referred to as the headband hijab. It is a band of fabric approximately 4 inches wide. It covers the back of the head and allows all the hair to be exposed. It doesn't serve much in terms of modesty, but at least it comes in handy in case of an unexpected tennis match.

2- The second pointless hijab is the dupetta, also known as the Saran wrap hijab. It covers all the hair, but it is totally transparent. Again it doesn't serve much in terms of modesty, but it keeps the hair nice and fresh.

3- The third type of hijab is known as the Mickey Mouse Hijab. It is when a girl wears a black scarf and tucks it behind her ear, so that her ears stick out.

We now move to my favorites:

4 - The yo-yo hijabs. The first yo-yo hijab, also known as the Benazir Bhutto hijab, is the scarf that keeps falling down and needs to be constantly pulled back up....up, down, up, down, just like a yo-yo.
4b- The second yo-yo hijab is also referred to as the convertible hijab. This type of hijab is predominant at any type of social event, i.e. an Aqeeqah, Bismillah party, Ameen party, wedding, etc. This is when an Imam or Qari comes up to the microphone and starts to recite Qur'an. At this point, all the convertible hijabs come up...until he says "Sadaqallahul atheem". I'm not sure, but apparently in some cultures that translates to "ok sisters, you may now take off your scarves".

I'm sure this may seem odd, but what's even funnier is when people do not anticipate the recitation of Qur'an at a social event, and are forced to be creative and use accessories such as a purse to cover one's hair. I was surprised to see a women hold her purse over her head as "hijab"..as if the multitudes of men surrounding her are not a good enough reason to wear hijab, but some guy reciting du'a compels her to hold a purse over her head. Her friends were more creative...one friend used her dinner napkin. I was also laughing when I saw the communal hijab -- two or more girls draped under one dinner napkin during the recitation of Qur'an. Her other friend was still more creative. She used her coffee saucer on the back of her head. I wasn't sure if it was hijab or a Yamaka. I didn't know if she was a Muslim or a Jew. I felt like going up to her and saying "Shalom alaikum, sister".

And, people should remember that hijab is not just a protection from guys, but from a girl's nafs (ego) as well. It should prevent girls from having tospend hours in front of the mirror doing her hair. But, unfortunately, you see girls in front of the mirror for hours doing their hijab as they would do their hair, with all sorts of elaborate braids and the like. I wanted to go up to a sister and say "Is your hijab naturally curly?" I also felt compelled to go up to another girl and say "pardon me, but is your hijab naturally that color, or did you dye it?".

Well, the point to remember is that some people make an effort to wear hijab, but it is futile, because it is not fulfilling it's purpose. It's like using an umbrella with holes in it. Hijab is used for protection from guys as well as from the girl herself, and should not be used as an accessory or for beautifying one's self.
Anyway, that's it. If anyone disagrees with me or is offended, then you are disagreeing with the teachings of Allah subhanahu wa Ta'ala.
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Let the bashing begin! lol

Begum Nawazish Ali

So we have a cross-dresser on the Pakistani national TV. Should it be a big deal?
Ali Saleem is a talented actor who has been impersonating Benazir Bhutto for years now and it is this act that has been his claim to fame. He decided to do a talk show of his own now dressed as a woman and interviewing people on his talk show called "The Late Night Show with Begum Nawazish Ali." People hate him and poeple love him. He makes it an entertaining and a satire comical show for everyone to watch.
It is this satire that makes people love Begum Nawazish Ali and her wit to ask the questions which no one would dare to ask the politicians on a talk show. "She exhumes an aura that celebrities can't resist. She entices them to her natural habitat, her living room, and attacks them with questions and razor sharp comments that render her prey with no other choice but to admit that our Begum is the queen." (http://www.aaj.tv/programs.php?pg=entertainment&pid=87). He is not gay and only calls himself as a 'pro-feminist' or even a feminist for that matter.
Now, the religious leaders, ofcourse, have problems with this. Although they didnt seem to have problems when he was acting as Benazir Bhutto in the show Hum Sab Umeed Se Hain. Or with Moin Akhtar when he did the role of a feminist "Rosey" in the 90s. In fact, it got him an award of the 'best actress in leading role.' Salim Nasir did the role of an ex-clasical dancer in "Aangan Terha" (a classic drama series in 80s).
There have been petitions in Sindh court to ban this program in the province. The program would probably be banned in the country soon as many government officials are apparantly against the cross-dressing/acting nature of the show. However, many believe that it is because of the nature of the daring questions asked from the politicians and not the cross-dressing that has actually pissed off the officials.
Should this program be banned? Is Ali Saleem a total retard in doing this kind of a cheap show, when he could have been asking the same questions as a guy as well? Is he a gay ass wanting some attention and promoting a wrong thing? Or is Begum Nawazish Ali a class act and something to be proud of?
For: http://observer.guardian.co.uk/world/story/0,,1759395,00.html
Against: http://www.petitiononline.com/060202/petition.html